"I do weddings!"
It was my first estate wedding. The bride and groom met with me for months. The wedding would be held at his parents' home with nothing held back. The guests came from all over the area, with a number of prominent Los Angeles people. Just before the beginning of the service a guy with wavy hair, silk shirt and designer sunglasses came up to me and said: "You the officiant?" "Yes" I replied. "I got a tip for you." (pause) "Tell everyone at the beginning to turn off their cell phones. Believe me, I do weddings!"
That intrigued me more than the tip. "What do you mean, you do weddings?" I asked back. "My wife and I make ring pillows, photo albums and guest books. Plus, we consult with a number of hotels on how to host weddings." Amazing! This guest runs a cottage industry (maybe not so cottage) on wedding peripherals; stuff that really does not matter for a marriage, but has been glommed on to the wedding juggernaut.
The wedding turned out lovely. The bride wept and the groom held her hand tenderly. Three photographers clicked away from various vantage points during the whole service, that lasted about 15 minutes. After greetings and a photo with the couple we exited quietly back home, for a simple dinner for two and a quiet night. But his words echoed around my head: "I do weddings!" Then what do I do?